see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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