When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
