The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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