More tranny stories later!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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