hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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