you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
