Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
