Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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