when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
It was confusing and full of hummus
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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