i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
