she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
