I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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