I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
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