"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
i now understand why vodka
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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