apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize