Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
accomplished twins. life is a go
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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