guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
