And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
