Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
