i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
