Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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