OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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