i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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