Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
