Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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