its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
