she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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