he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
