we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
