i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
