I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sober January is a disaster.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
