just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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