i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
