He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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