bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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