Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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