i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
we're so committed to being not committed
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize