i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
