I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
