dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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