hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
