better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
