Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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