So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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