he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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