My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
