Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
