I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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