Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
