Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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