Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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