OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
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He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
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Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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