I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
