No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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