Screwed.edu
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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