she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
